I read a lot of books. I read a lot. Lately, I've been reading a lot of Sci/Fi books - and the genre covers a lot of "odd" stuff. Yesterday, I finished reading "Darkness of the Light" by Peter David. This is a book I would never have purchased, but I was sent a free electronic copy of it from Tor Books, so I decided to give it a try. I have several of this author's books and he has a great way with sarcasm and wit; this book was no different in that regard. However, I came to a paragraph that just completely hit me. Here is the passage:
"That is what life is, you foolish little Markene! It is a game with players on all sides, each engaging in his own little maneuvers, and each trying to accomplish one simple goal: to be the only one left standing at the end of it, before he is himself swept off the board by the great gamesmen who look down upon us all and laugh on our foibles. If you do not start thinking... if you do not begin to play the game yourself, rather than wait for me to explain all the rules... you will be removed from play sooner that you could possibly anticipate. It will be done far more rudely and with far more finality than just being tossed in the water."
I think that as I was growing up, I was always waiting for someone to tell me the rules. I am a rule follower - and if I'm not sure what the rules are I sometimes shut down. I still wonder sometimes just what the heck the rules are and why isn't everyone following them. One of the hardest things for me to learn was and is to just jump in to the game of life and be myself. And accept that there really aren't any rules and yes, it isn't fair, but if you just wait for it all to be explained then life will pass you by. In the end, it is your own self you are stuck with - and trying to be what everyone else wants you to be will leave you empty and sad.
Sorry for the serious moment... I've just been thinking about this all night and I don't know if I explained it very well. But, it feels good to get if off my chest, so to speak.
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3 comments:
I think you explained it very well, Becky!
I used to feel the same way: I waited for someone to give me permission to take part, someone to explain the rules to me so I did things the RIGHT way. But I spent an awful lot of time observing life instead of taking part in it. I think that's why my tutoring event Monday night was so nerve-wracking. I came up against that old demon of mine: WHAT ARE THE RULES, PEOPLE?? LOL!
I also think of it in terms of being ‘enough.’ What I do and what I am is enough. I don’t have to be perfect, and there are no rules.
Ok, now I'M rambling!! :-)
Thanks for the thought-provoking post.
I've always been the other way. If somebody told me I had to do things a certain way I wondered why they thought their way was better than mine...or who made them the leader? .. then I asked too many questions and usually they didn't like it.... so I got in trouble for that.... It's not easy either way...but I think a person absolutely has to take charge of their own destiny...their own health.. their own desires and dreams. Nobody will do it for us.... nobody has any access to the "ultimate rules".... some think they do..but I don't believe that for one second. I believe in me, and being a decent, caring human being, but at the same time trying to stay tough enough to maneuver through some nasty pitfalls and hard knocks that life hands us... and into that mix I toss a healthy dose of fun....... wheeeeee.... what's that saying? "It's a great life if you don't weaken" ...?
{{{nose hugs!}}}
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